Between, “Honey we are killing the kids” on tv, the article in the womans day magazine Laurel got in hospital titled “Are you killing your children?” and the nurses list of 50 million don’ts, I’m suprised anyone in the world manages to live past the age of 2.
Apparently pretty much everything will kill your baby including all the things they told you last week were good for your baby. There’s an entire doctoral study in the contradictorial information you have forced upon you when you become a parent. And another thesis on why people think it’s even remotely their business to tell you what to do.
Some of the gems we have discovered today are
- Swaddling is out, free hands are in
- Slings will kill your baby by compressing its neck (apparently every single person in africa and 90% of asia is wrong)
- Car seat head stabilisers will kill your baby, resurrect it, and kill it again
- Holding your baby upright will kill it, and your cat, and your dogs, and your neighbours grandchild
- Polyester is as bad as putting your baby in the microwave on high
- Looking at your baby will cause it to go blind
- Not looking at your baby will cause it to go blind
Luckily we have our friends, parents, ante natal class and lovely midwife to reassure us that its not that scary really.